I'll be go to hell

How many times have I heard my dad say that growing up. Never really knew what the meaning meant until now.
It's Valentines night, and mother nature came banging on my door last night. At my age (ahem) I usually don't give a rat's ass, but for some insane reason, I decided to splurge on something sexy to wear for hubby. Don't really have the money to spare, lord knows, but I wanted to show him how I still crave for him, body and soul. I'm so sick and tired of this shit happening at all the wrong times. I've had my babies, why in the hell do I still have to worry about this shit? UGH.
I'm not a model, never have been, but hubby always makes me feel wanted and desired, and the ONE time, in years, that I finally had the plan and it all gets fucked up.
I'm also sick and tired of the damn hormonal rush that makes me a raving bitch, or cry baby. I'm so sensitive to all that's said to me for a few days, when it finally does roll around, that I either chew off heads, or just want to bury my head in a pillow and bawl my eyes out. My momma raised me better than this, but I feel like I have absolutely NO control over it. What in the hell was god thinking when he allowed women to have children into their 50's and 60's? This is like some kind of sick curse, I swear, and I'm about to tell the gyno to just rip the shit out, and be done with it! I'm just going to go to the corner and pull my hair out now. Yes, another Corona would be nice..tyvm