My youngest daughter and I talked today.

She doesn't live with me, which has grated on me for years. Bad divorce, etc, you know the routine. Anyways, she asked me if I remember a ring. Yanno mom, the one with two hearts. I said yea. She said it had red and blue on it. For some reason, she can't seem to go a day without wearing it now. She said she feels naked without it. Wow, my heart just soared like an eagle. Something so, little, and it means something to her, that she doesn't want to go a day without it. I wish I could do so much more for my beautiful kids, because I just don't know if they know how very much they do for me, every day.

So this is what I live for

I LOVE when termites swarm. I'm so totally weird, but to me, helping someone out with their termite issues, just makes me giddy. People don't realize how very destructive these little devils are, which I guess makes my job a challenge as well as rewarding.

I miss Upstate NY

Or more what it represented. My parents separated when I was 13. My mom, though, never skipped a beat. She worked some ungodly hours, but always found time to do everything with us. I was heavily involved with our high school band. I know, nerd, right. But it was a great outlet me for the not so athletic type. I was always the last to get picked, if you know what I mean. Anyways, being from a military family ( both my parents, uncle and 2nd cousin was in the Marines) if seemed seamless for me to join a marching band. We worked some god awful hours, but thankfully we were close to my school. My mom, though, never failed to be there for all our shows, and eventually, since she was so beautiful, did our makeup for us. I can't think of the words to thank my mom for us being there. I wish I could do the same for my kids ( but that is a whole 'nother post)
My mom also used to take us to Syracuse University to watch the basketball games. We were addicted from the first time we entered the Carrier Dome, to see the Syracuse Orangemen play. I have to say, for a girl, I still love watching them play. She took us religiously, to see them play. I think back now, I know she didn't really have the money, but somehow she found a way to take us.
She also got us SO hooked on skiing, which in NY is a good thing. Since it's snowing most of the year there. So, I exaggerate, but it did snow a lot. Too much, but what else do you do there? Even when she was dog tired from working the graveyard shift, she dragged us to the slopes to ski. What a trooper she was. See, I told you I had an awesome family!

Stepping off point

I've been so blessed my life. Although some would look at my history, surviving a tense family life with an unhappy father, then living in a nightmarish marriage as not so blessed. I don't look back on these times with regrets anymore. Maybe it's the age. Maybe it's knowing that that's not me anymore. Whatever it is, it's been a full circle to where I am now. I have three absolutely beautiful children. All very different from one another. All very confident in who they are, and determined to " make" it in the real world, with no qualms about how others feel they "should" do. They will not ever let anyone influence what their goals are, and that just makes me so proud of them.

I don't have worldly goods to bestow on my children, but I've always tried to teach them that things are not what is important. I've tried to instill in them a love for their siblings, irregardless of their flaws/faults. I think I've succeeded so far.

I also have a wonderfully supportive husband and parents. I KNOW I've not been what they wanted/thought I'd be. Especially when I was wallowing under the fear of my first marriage. Geesh it makes someone really struggle to love you,when you're doing this to yourself. My mom and dad never waivered in their love and support. My husband is my rock! He's been the most surprising gift to me, ever since we met. It's been almost 10 yrs since we've met, and there's never been a day that we have not told each other that we love each other, and can't wait to see each other again. How do you explain that you can't barely breathe when they're not around? Through our marriage, we've faced so very trying times, including cancer and financial issues, but I still know that he's always there to support me, and I for him. There's nothing more rewarding in this world, than knowing you are human, that you can make mistakes, and that you're still loved.

One thing I've seen, following some of these amazing blogs, is that I'm not as good a writer, but the feeling in these other ones, are just so honest, and lovely. I have a lot of these same feelings for my fellow humans, and I hope that I'll learn to be as free to express them, as my children do in theirs. I'm grateful that I've been able to give them the wings, and watch them fly.

It's been a pretty good week

I've been able to pay my car and the rent! PHEW! I've also done pretty good in sales, for the week, so I'm happy. We've even had some termite swarms, which I'm very happy about!
The sun is also finally shining. It's been raining here since friday, so we're happy to see the sun out, and the temperatures rising, finally. Spring in the south. Love it. Even the Bradford Pears are shining brightly for us to admire as we drive along the streets.

I've been tagged.

Ten things you probably could care less about..haha
1. When I was a little girl, I thought the world revolved around me. I was the first grandchild, so, ya, I was spoiled rotten!
2. I grew up in Upstate NY, so you think I'd be used to the cold, but even in the South, I STILL hate the cold.
3. When I was a little girl, I had pin straight hair, down to the crack of my..well..yanno. My mom got tired of fighting me every time we combed it, and had it cut in to a Dorothy Hamill cut when I was around 10. It stayed short until I was 38, and newly single again, when I started growing it out again.
4. I want my children to always know that I love them to pieces, and that I hope that they will always follow their dreams, not mine, not their fathers...but THEIRS!
5. I love 24 and American Idol, and Countdown with Keith Olbermann.
6. I'm a Taurus, and very bull headed.
7. I live within city limits, and I'd be MUCH happier with several acres of land to dig around in every day.
8. I used to live on chocolate, especially eclairs, but now that I'm older, I love Corona and salty stuff.
9. I believe in hard work, my hubby, and angels.
10. I love pasta, any way, in any kind of sauce. I'm about the only one in my family, though. My kids, cept my youngest, would rather choke, than eat pasta. haha
There, I made it. Did you learn anything?

Keeping my chin up

Okay, so I'm gonna be okay. I know I will be. Funny, my daughter has been struggling for months, and I've been her biggest cheerleader, and then I try to bail. I'm the first to tell her that it's going to be okay, that EVEN if you lose all your stuff, it's just STUFF! So, today, she sent me an email. She told me, " things will get better, just keep trucking!" Pretty good advice. I know it will be. So I'm gonna just keep on trucking.