I love my mom

I grew up in the 60's and 70's, when a lot of women at that time were fighting for equal rights and pay. My mom worked her ass off, trying to raise me and my brother, and still work full time, and keep a house. She always believed in my brother and I, even though we didn't always make life easy for her, and lords knows my father didn't. Shortly after my parents built a new house, her first ever, my father decided he needed his " space" and left us. I was 13 at the time, and never hated someone so much in my life. For almost a year, we didn't hear from him. I could hear my mom on the phone arguing with him, to just talk to us, but I later learned he was too ashamed to talk to us. It took me until well in to my adult hood to forgive him, but I have. In the meantime, my mom was the one that worked all day, and then some, and then would take us to all our school events, or chaperone , or just be mom on the sidelines, cheering us on. I never truly appreciated her sacrifice until I became a mom. You don't truly fathom the commitment they put out, until you're grown, and what a shame.

I had a very difficult first marriage, they say that you marry your father. Well, don't know if I did, but it was tough. My self esteem,that my mom spent years building up, was pretty much nil, until the family got together for grandpa's birthday, and she told me it was " okay". That was all she said, as if she saw the hurt, fear, anxiety on my face, and knew it was time for me to make the decision that it was better to be alone, than to face anymore of the hurt. I made that decision a few months later, and life was a living hell. I no longer lived with my kids, I lived on friends couch's, I completely felt the life sucking out of me. Then my mom, ever the pillar of strength in my life, told me that it was time to move on, and get my smile back.

Here it is, some decade later, and I do have my smile back. That's not to say, it was easy at first, but I got it. I remarried some 4 yrs after my first marriage dissolved. My kids have finally forgiven me for leaving, not that I had much choice, but I had to save my life.

I hope that they will some day see me in the same light that I see my mom. Strong, dedicated, loving, supportive, and always there for them, because I am and will be.

I love my mom.