Exciting new adventures

My oldest daughter finally bit the bullet and opened her own business this past week. How does one describe the pride one feels when the children you've born reach for their dreams? She's always been a dreamer, a creator, an artist. How I wish I could see in my mind's eye what she sees, but I do have the privilege of viewing them to my heart's content, and I'm still amazed at the beauty in it all. Breathtaking beauty. It amazes me that one can see an object that we've all driven by day after day, and just ignored. She'll look at it, look at how the light hits it, see the angles of it, watch the backdrops of it, and then frame it in her head for the perfect shot. Then with pride, she'll send it to me, and I'll just sit there, mouth agape, in pure awe at the creativity of it all. Something that would take an amateur like me hours to frame, seems to come to her instantaneously, and then it's another capture, for us lucky enough to know her, to admire.

How does one describe the pride? Well, this one just smiles, and she knows.

I love mornings

I love the early morning hours. The relaxed feel of just admiring mother earth's beauty. I crave listening to the birds, singing love calls to their mates. The bluebirds flying down from the tree in my front yard, to snatch up a feast for the young they've bore in the bird house out back. The bright yellow of the goldfinches on the feeder near the mailbox.
I stand near the newly planted garden near the front of our house, admiring how we've nurtured lettuces, radishes, herbs, and yes, even flowers, to bring their beauty for all to see. The chives in the pot, with dew on the tips of each small plant, taking in the sun and moisture to produce. The jasmine we planted near the side porch, bearing flower buds, teasing us in wait for it's sweet smells for summer.
The peace in the morning, when most are still asleep, while mother nature spoils us with her beauty. I love mornings.

My youngest daughter and I talked today.

She doesn't live with me, which has grated on me for years. Bad divorce, etc, you know the routine. Anyways, she asked me if I remember a ring. Yanno mom, the one with two hearts. I said yea. She said it had red and blue on it. For some reason, she can't seem to go a day without wearing it now. She said she feels naked without it. Wow, my heart just soared like an eagle. Something so, little, and it means something to her, that she doesn't want to go a day without it. I wish I could do so much more for my beautiful kids, because I just don't know if they know how very much they do for me, every day.

So this is what I live for

I LOVE when termites swarm. I'm so totally weird, but to me, helping someone out with their termite issues, just makes me giddy. People don't realize how very destructive these little devils are, which I guess makes my job a challenge as well as rewarding.

I miss Upstate NY

Or more what it represented. My parents separated when I was 13. My mom, though, never skipped a beat. She worked some ungodly hours, but always found time to do everything with us. I was heavily involved with our high school band. I know, nerd, right. But it was a great outlet me for the not so athletic type. I was always the last to get picked, if you know what I mean. Anyways, being from a military family ( both my parents, uncle and 2nd cousin was in the Marines) if seemed seamless for me to join a marching band. We worked some god awful hours, but thankfully we were close to my school. My mom, though, never failed to be there for all our shows, and eventually, since she was so beautiful, did our makeup for us. I can't think of the words to thank my mom for us being there. I wish I could do the same for my kids ( but that is a whole 'nother post)
My mom also used to take us to Syracuse University to watch the basketball games. We were addicted from the first time we entered the Carrier Dome, to see the Syracuse Orangemen play. I have to say, for a girl, I still love watching them play. She took us religiously, to see them play. I think back now, I know she didn't really have the money, but somehow she found a way to take us.
She also got us SO hooked on skiing, which in NY is a good thing. Since it's snowing most of the year there. So, I exaggerate, but it did snow a lot. Too much, but what else do you do there? Even when she was dog tired from working the graveyard shift, she dragged us to the slopes to ski. What a trooper she was. See, I told you I had an awesome family!

Stepping off point

I've been so blessed my life. Although some would look at my history, surviving a tense family life with an unhappy father, then living in a nightmarish marriage as not so blessed. I don't look back on these times with regrets anymore. Maybe it's the age. Maybe it's knowing that that's not me anymore. Whatever it is, it's been a full circle to where I am now. I have three absolutely beautiful children. All very different from one another. All very confident in who they are, and determined to " make" it in the real world, with no qualms about how others feel they "should" do. They will not ever let anyone influence what their goals are, and that just makes me so proud of them.

I don't have worldly goods to bestow on my children, but I've always tried to teach them that things are not what is important. I've tried to instill in them a love for their siblings, irregardless of their flaws/faults. I think I've succeeded so far.

I also have a wonderfully supportive husband and parents. I KNOW I've not been what they wanted/thought I'd be. Especially when I was wallowing under the fear of my first marriage. Geesh it makes someone really struggle to love you,when you're doing this to yourself. My mom and dad never waivered in their love and support. My husband is my rock! He's been the most surprising gift to me, ever since we met. It's been almost 10 yrs since we've met, and there's never been a day that we have not told each other that we love each other, and can't wait to see each other again. How do you explain that you can't barely breathe when they're not around? Through our marriage, we've faced so very trying times, including cancer and financial issues, but I still know that he's always there to support me, and I for him. There's nothing more rewarding in this world, than knowing you are human, that you can make mistakes, and that you're still loved.

One thing I've seen, following some of these amazing blogs, is that I'm not as good a writer, but the feeling in these other ones, are just so honest, and lovely. I have a lot of these same feelings for my fellow humans, and I hope that I'll learn to be as free to express them, as my children do in theirs. I'm grateful that I've been able to give them the wings, and watch them fly.

It's been a pretty good week

I've been able to pay my car and the rent! PHEW! I've also done pretty good in sales, for the week, so I'm happy. We've even had some termite swarms, which I'm very happy about!
The sun is also finally shining. It's been raining here since friday, so we're happy to see the sun out, and the temperatures rising, finally. Spring in the south. Love it. Even the Bradford Pears are shining brightly for us to admire as we drive along the streets.